Jennifer Lopez Reveals the Secret to Raising Resilient Kids: “Get Loud and Stand Up for What You Believe”
OPINION: This article may contain commentary which reflects the author's opinion.
Jennifer Lopez’s approach to parenting is rooted in a blend of empowerment, kindness, and discipline. As a mother to twins Max and Emme, Lopez has shared her insights on raising children who are not only resilient and independent but also emotionally intelligent and kind. Her parenting philosophy has been shaped by her personal experiences, as well as her desire to create a supportive and growth-oriented environment for her kids.
Encouraging Independence and Assertiveness
One of Lopez’s central parenting values is the importance of teaching children to stand up for themselves and for what they believe in. In a 2022 Vogue interview, Lopez shared her hopes for the next generation, saying, “This generation is beautifully aware and involved and brave, and they will call bullshit on stuff really quick. I want my kids to stand up for themselves and the things they care about.” She encourages her children, especially her daughter, to “get loud” and express their opinions confidently, overcoming the fears that Lopez herself once experienced, such as the fear of being disliked or not getting a job.
This emphasis on self-advocacy was particularly evident when her son Max encouraged her to use her platform for social justice during the 2020 George Floyd protests. Lopez, alongside her kids, attended protests, carrying signs that read “Black Lives Matter” and “Let’s Get Loud for Black Lives Matter,” showing how she raises socially conscious children who understand the power of using their voices for positive change.
Being a Calm and Respectful Parent
Lopez also prioritizes a calm and respectful approach to parenting, aiming to be an ally rather than an authoritarian figure. In the same Vogue interview, she noted, “I try to be calm, set boundaries, but not yell. I want to be their ally, not their enemy, while still earning their respect.” This philosophy of maintaining open communication and a peaceful home environment helps her children feel heard and respected, fostering trust and a sense of safety.
Prioritizing Kindness and Good Character
Lopez emphasizes the importance of raising good people over focusing solely on academic success. She shared in the Vogue interview that her son once finished her sentence by saying, “But you care more that we’re good people.” This reflects her belief that emotional intelligence, empathy, and kindness are just as important as academic achievements. Her approach is rooted in the values she learned from her own upbringing, where she observed her parents’ hard work and dedication. “I always felt that I couldn’t let them down,” she said, acknowledging the powerful lessons she learned from watching her parents’ example.
Practical Parenting Strategies: Structure and Rewards
Lopez’s parenting also includes practical strategies that foster discipline and responsibility. One such strategy is “Sunday Funday,” a family tradition that combines fun with structure. In an interview with HuffPost, she explained how the family spends Sundays together, with the children working towards earning their weekend rewards. “They don’t get to use their iPads during the week. Or play video games or anything because it’s school time. And they have to be good in school and then they get Sunday Funday.” This system teaches her children the connection between effort and reward, encouraging self-discipline and responsibility.
Maintaining Personal Identity and Empowerment
Lopez believes that to be a great parent, one must first be a great individual. As she shared in a Staten Island Live interview, “To be a great mother or great parent or great woman in this world, you have to be a great individual first.” This emphasis on personal growth and self-care is crucial for parents who wish to model strength and balance for their children. Lopez stresses that women, in particular, should embrace their full potential, noting that many women truly come into their own in their 40s. She encourages mothers to maintain their health, independence, and personal aspirations, reinforcing that a strong sense of self benefits both the parent and the child.
Teaching Self-Love and Positive Thinking
A cornerstone of Lopez’s parenting is instilling self-love and positive thinking in her children. She believes that these traits are essential for building confidence and fostering healthy relationships. In an interview with People, Lopez explained, “I want my kids to know loving yourself is so important, teaching them that their thoughts create their life, all feelings are okay, and they should be treated well, not as victims, to foster healthy relationships.” This philosophy nurtures emotional intelligence and resilience in her children, equipping them with the tools to navigate life’s challenges with confidence and empathy.
Learning from Your Children
For Lopez, parenting is not just about teaching; it’s also about learning from her children. In the Vogue interview, she reflected on the two-way nature of parenting, saying, “It’s a two-way learning process, with kids teaching us as much as we teach them.” This open-minded approach to parenting highlights her belief that children can offer valuable lessons in compassion, understanding, and personal growth.
Conclusion
Jennifer Lopez’s parenting philosophy blends emotional intelligence, kindness, and discipline with a focus on empowering her children to be confident, independent, and kind individuals. Her approach, which values self-love, respect, and the importance of leading by example, offers a thoughtful guide for parents looking to raise children who are not only successful but also compassionate and resilient. As Lopez continues to share her insights on parenting, it’s clear that her children, Max and Emme, are growing up in an environment filled with love, respect, and a commitment to personal growth.