Jennifer Lopez Opens Up About Her Surprising Relationship Preferences: Why She Wants a Partner Who ‘Wears the Pants’

In a world where modern relationships often aim for equality and partnership, Jennifer Lopez’s preference for a partner who “wears the pants” offers a rare glimpse into her personal dynamics. The superstar, known for her hard work, independence, and high-profile relationships, has consistently maintained this desire throughout her career. As of March 2025, this preference continues to spark conversations about gender roles and relationship dynamics in the context of Lopez’s unique experiences.

Historical Context: A Look Back at Lopez’s Early Statements

Lopez’s preference for a partner who takes charge in a relationship is far from a new revelation. In 2003, during her relationship with Ben Affleck—famously dubbed “Bennifer”—she first articulated this idea. In an Access Hollywood interview from that year, Lopez candidly shared, “Ben wears the pants. He definitely wears the pants. We respect each other and that’s the important thing.” At the time, Lopez was filming Gigli, and Affleck’s role as the more dominant partner in their relationship was openly acknowledged. Lopez, on the other hand, described herself as a caretaker, someone who took pleasure in cooking and meeting Affleck’s needs.

This dynamic was further explored in a 2003 W Magazine interview, where Lopez explained that her desire for a partner who “wears the pants” wasn’t a rejection of her own strength or independence. Rather, she framed it as a need to “feel safe somewhere,” allowing her to embrace a traditional relationship dynamic that provided balance against her otherwise dominant professional role. She emphasized that submitting to her partner didn’t lessen her power, but instead gave her the space to relax and enjoy a reprieve from the relentless drive of her career.

The Reason Behind the Preference: Seeking Balance and Security

Lopez’s career has always been a whirlwind of success and relentless work, with her longtime collaborator Elaine Goldsmith-Thomas once stating, “I’ve never seen anybody work as hard as her.” This immense dedication to her craft has led Lopez to describe herself as a workaholic in interviews, such as her 2024 conversation with Harper’s Bazaar. Given the pressures and constant demands of her professional life, Lopez’s desire for a partner who “wears the pants” may stem from a need for stability and security at home. A relationship where she can let go of control, even momentarily, offers her a sense of relaxation and emotional comfort—an escape from the constant push to succeed.

Further reinforcing this notion is Lopez’s traditional view on gender roles. In her 2003 statements, she suggested that women are inherently caretakers, while men take on the role of providers. Despite her own substantial financial success, Lopez’s perspective on relationships often mirrors these roles, preferring to embrace the comforting sense of being cared for while focusing on her family. This perspective, which she has maintained through various relationships, speaks to her ongoing desire for a complementary partnership at home.

Evolution of Lopez’s Views: Changing Patterns and New Relationships

Lopez’s views on relationships have inevitably evolved as she’s experienced new phases of her personal life. After her high-profile romance with Affleck, Lopez went on to marry Marc Anthony and later rekindle her relationship with Ben Affleck, only to divorce once again in January 2025. Throughout these transitions, Lopez has continued to speak openly about relationships, acknowledging the “work” they require, but has yet to revisit her preference for a partner who takes the lead in quite the same way she did in the early 2000s.

In a 2024 interview with Nikki Glaser for Interview magazine, Lopez shared insights into the “work” of relationships, emphasizing the importance of breaking patterns. While she did not directly address her preference for a dominant partner, this discussion hinted at a more nuanced understanding of what makes relationships work for her. Similarly, in her recent collaboration with Judy Robles for the 2025 film Unstoppable, Lopez spoke about resilience in relationships rather than rigid gender roles, signaling a shift towards a more flexible view on partnership, yet still grounded in her core values of trust and respect.

The Alex Rodriguez Factor: A Different Kind of Relationship

Lopez’s engagement with Alex Rodriguez (2017-2021) offers an interesting comparison. While they were often seen as a power couple in the public eye, there was little discussion of traditional gender roles in their relationship. This lack of focus on dominant-submissive dynamics suggests that Lopez may have sought a more equal footing in that partnership, though it’s unclear if this represented a personal evolution or simply a different public-facing approach to her relationship at the time.

Conclusion: A Desire for Balance and Stability

Jennifer Lopez’s preference for a partner who “wears the pants” may seem out of step with today’s evolving views on gender dynamics, but it offers a window into her need for balance, stability, and security in her personal life. As one of the most powerful women in entertainment, Lopez’s public persona is defined by her fierce independence and work ethic. However, her private life—specifically her preference for a traditional relationship dynamic—reminds us that even the most accomplished individuals seek out relationships where they can feel safe and cared for.

As Lopez continues to navigate her personal journey, it will be interesting to see how her views on love and partnership continue to evolve, especially as she reflects on her past and forges ahead with new relationships. Whether or not she still seeks a partner who “wears the pants,” her ability to adapt and prioritize her emotional well-being remains a key element of her story.