Billie Eilish on the Pressures of Femininity: “People Shame You for Not Being Feminine Enough”

Billie Eilish has long been celebrated for her raw honesty and refusal to conform to pop-star stereotypes. But behind her boundary-pushing image lies a deeply personal struggle with societal expectations of femininity, desirability, and identity. In a candid 2022 interview with The Sunday Times and later in a 2023 Variety profile, the Grammy-winning singer opened up about the relentless scrutiny she has faced—and her ongoing journey toward self-acceptance.

The Double Bind of Public Perception

Eilish rose to fame in her teens with chart-topping hits like “Bad Guy” and “Ocean Eyes.” Almost immediately, her baggy, oversized clothing became a hallmark of her style—both a shield from the public gaze and a statement against hypersexualization. But this choice, she revealed, came at a cost.

“Wearing baggy clothes, nobody is attracted to me, I feel incredibly unlovable and unsexy and not beautiful, and people shame you for not being feminine enough,” she told The Sunday Times.

When she shifted gears for her 2021 British Vogue cover—trading baggy layers for a silk corset and blonde bombshell aesthetic—the criticism only grew louder. Instead of liberation, the transformation brought new accusations. “Then you wear something more revealing, and they’re, like, you’re such a fat cow w****. I’m a s*** and I’m a sell-out and I’m just like every other celebrity selling their bodies,” she said. “What the f*** do you want? It’s a crazy world for women and women in the public eye.”

The Toll of Trying to Be “Desirable”

Eilish admitted that public pressure to appear desirable left her emotionally conflicted. “I honestly don’t feel desired, ever,” she reflected. “I do have this worry that I felt so undesirable that I may have occasionally tried too hard to be desirable. It makes me sad to think about.”

Her struggles with body image began early, at just 11 years old. She has described her body as both a source of pain and a constant companion. “It’s a truly horrible, terrible thing,” she said of her self-image, before adding, “I love that my body is mine and that it’s with me everywhere I go.”

A Shift Toward Self-Acceptance

By mid-2022, Eilish began to feel a turning point. “In the past couple of months, I feel far more solid in who I am,” she said. “I feel different now, like I’m desirable. I feel like I’m capable of being as feminine as I want to be and as masculine as I want.”

That nuanced approach reflects an embrace of her fluid identity beyond rigid labels. In her 2023 Variety interview, Eilish explained: “I’ve never felt like a woman, to be honest with you. I’ve never felt desirable. I’ve never felt feminine. I have to convince myself that I’m, like, a pretty girl.” Though she clarified that she identifies with she/her pronouns, her discomfort with traditional gender roles resonated widely, particularly among online communities exploring gender nonconformity.

The Gendered Double Standard

Eilish also spotlighted the stark contrast in how society treats men’s bodies versus women’s. “Nobody ever says a thing about men’s bodies… If you’re muscular, cool. If you’re not, cool… You know why? Because girls are nice,” she said. While some critics argued that men also face body-shaming, particularly around height and physique, her remarks sparked broader debates about the unequal expectations women endure in the public eye.

Redefining Authenticity

For Eilish, navigating fame has been as much about defining herself as it has been about rejecting others’ definitions of her. From oversized hoodies to corsets, from self-doubt to newfound strength, her evolution reflects not just an artist experimenting with image, but a young woman refusing to be boxed in.

“I feel like I’m capable of being as feminine as I want to be and as masculine as I want,” she said—a declaration that may well resonate with an entire generation equally tired of impossible expectations.

Would you like me to pitch this article in a culture-magazine style (analytical, socially critical) or a celebrity-profile style (personal, emotional, focused on her journey)?