“I Had to Be Twice as Strong” — Aretha Franklin Opens Up About the Invisible Pressure of Being a Mother of Four in Her Twenties, and the One Strict Rule She Always Applied to Her Children
OPINION: This article may contain commentary which reflects the author's opinion.
Before the world crowned her the Queen of Soul, Aretha Franklin was a young woman shouldering two full-time roles: an artist on the rise and a mother of four boys. By her mid-twenties, she had already recorded timeless hits like Respect and (You Make Me Feel Like) A Natural Woman—songs that would shape generations. But behind the fame and applause, Franklin was fighting another battle — the quiet, unseen struggle of raising children while carving out a career that demanded everything of her.
“People saw the gowns and the Grammys,” Aretha once said. “But what they didn’t see was me, trying to make breakfast for four boys before flying out to do a show that night. I had to be twice as strong — for them, and for me.”
🌹 A Mother Before She Was a Star
Aretha Franklin’s journey into motherhood began early. She became a mother at 12, again at 14, welcomed her third child at 19, and her fourth by the age of 25. While many young women her age were still finding their path, she was already juggling studio sessions, tours, and parent-teacher meetings — all while the world expected perfection from a rising star.
“There was no manual for that kind of life,” she reflected. “No one tells you how to sing all night and still wake up at six to get your kids ready for school.”
Despite the chaos, Franklin never let her responsibilities as a parent take a backseat to her music. She made it her mission to prove that a woman could raise children with love and discipline while still chasing her dreams.
🏠 The One Rule in Aretha’s House: ‘No Excuses’
Behind the warmth of her legendary smile, Aretha was known to run a tight ship at home. Her sons recall her as both nurturing and firm — a woman who expected integrity and effort.
“My mama didn’t play,” her son Kecalf Franklin once said. “She was sweet, but she was serious about responsibility.”
For Aretha, there was one rule that guided her parenting philosophy:
“In my house, there were no excuses,” she said. “If you say you’re going to do something, you do it. If you make a mistake, you own it. I taught my boys that early — because the world won’t give second chances easily.”
She insisted that her children approach life with the same values that had carried her through her own challenges — faith, humility, and persistence.
“My success didn’t come from talent alone,” she reminded them. “It came from discipline, hard work, and respect — for myself and others.”
💔 The Pressure Behind the Power
While the public celebrated her strength, Aretha admitted that her dual roles often left her feeling unseen.
“There’s this idea that women can do it all,” she said. “But no one talks about the cost. You give everything — to your music, to your children — and sometimes there’s nothing left for yourself.”
There were nights when she’d leave a stage filled with applause only to go back to her hotel room and check on homework, call home, or plan the next family meal.
“It was never easy,” she recalled. “But when I saw my boys smile, I knew it was worth it. They were my grounding force — my reason.”
🙏 Faith, Family, and Fierce Love
Much of Aretha’s parenting philosophy came from her father, Rev. C.L. Franklin, a respected Detroit preacher who raised her to value dignity, discipline, and compassion.
“My father taught me that self-respect is the root of all strength,” she said. “I passed that to my children. I told them, ‘You are Franklin men. That means something.’”
Even as fame carried her to royal audiences and presidential inaugurations, Aretha cherished the quiet, everyday moments — family dinners filled with laughter, gospel harmonies, and the comforting aroma of homemade soul food.
“She was strict,” her niece, Sabrina Garrett, once said. “But she was also deeply loving. Everything she did — every rule, every lesson — came from love.”
👑 A Queen, But Always a Mother First
By her forties, Aretha Franklin had achieved nearly every musical milestone imaginable: 18 Grammy Awards, countless hit records, and a legacy that transcended genres. Yet, she often said her proudest achievement wasn’t her career — it was the character of her sons.
“I didn’t raise stars,” she said proudly. “I raised good people. And that’s something no award can ever give you.”
In her later years, surrounded by her children and grandchildren, Aretha continued to embody grace and resilience — a woman who turned personal challenges into lessons of love and strength.
When asked what advice she’d give to young mothers trying to do it all, her answer carried the same honesty that defined her voice:
“Keep your faith, keep your standards, and don’t let anyone tell you you’re not enough. You are — you just have to believe it.”
Aretha Franklin’s story is one of extraordinary balance — between fame and family, pressure and purpose, love and legacy. Behind the voice that moved the world was a woman who understood that true power comes not from perfection, but from perseverance.
She may have been the Queen of Soul to the world, but to her children, she was simply Mom — the woman who taught them, above all else, to stand tall, stay true, and never make excuses.



